The Manchester Food and Drink Festival is currently in full swing. We came across a fantastic cheese stall that sold all varieties and colours of cheese. I bought quite a few, bacon cheese, mango cheese, pineapple cheese …. but what to do with all this cheesey goodness?

Well, I hate Eldar Falcons. I really do. Holo-fields, Spirit Stones (and occasionally Vectored Engines) are filthy filthy cheese. I once fought three of them loaded up with Space Clowns. They were cockily stuck in the open in clear site of my entire army, the Harlequins safe in the knowledge my massed firepower won’t concern them those 35 in 36 times I get a glancing hit.

With a selection of fine cheeses in hand I went to Tesco, and bought a large lump of cheddar, some Cheese Strings, and Laughing Cow.

At home with my collection of fine cheeses and a collection of reference material I started carving the cheddar into the basic shape of the hull. The crackers and chutney were used to dispose of any off-cuts.

The wings were added, attached with healthy dollops of melty Laughing Cow. It works quite well as a fromagey glue. The basic shapes were now all in place.

I experimented with Cheese Strings to make the (obviously vectored) engines. That didn’t work, so I continued to flesh out the shape of the hull with chunks of cheddar welded together with gooey Laughing Cow. The heat of my lamps meant the entire construction had to be periodically returned to my fridge to prevent it going sweaty and melty.

I started to add the panel detailing using the wax from the bacon cheese. The gem stones are made from Wensleydale wax. The turret had to be held together with cocktail sticks as the strength of Laughing Cow would simply not suffice, especially under my lights. It kind of put me in mind of those parties with cheese chunks on strips.

The Scatter Laser looks quite floppy, but hey, it’s impossible to carve a thin prism from cheese and keep it straight.

Finished!

And whoosh, here it goes. Holo-Falcons are cheese.

What next? Who knows. Cheese for every meal.